E-mail to a certain helpdesk below...
Dear helpdesk
About a year and a half ago, I upgraded my Fiancee 7.0 application to Wife 1.0 and I noticed that another application, named Baby 1.0, was installed to my hard disk. This application uses a lot of disk space and wasn't named in the user manual of Wife 1.0.
Above all, Wife 1.0 installs itself in other applications, launches itself whenever I open another program and sabotages the correct working of the program.
Some programs like NightOutWithFriends 10.9, PartyAllNight 2.5 and QuietFootballEvening 16.4 don't seem to work at all!
Add to that that a certain background application (virus?) self-installs: MotherInLaw 1.0. Wife 1.0 starts to act really weird because of this.
I can't uninstall this, which is extremely annoying. Especially when I try to run the program SundayMorningSex 3.0.
Some parts of this application even seem to show permanent bugs.
For example, the command C:DrinkOnSaturday.exe fails to activate anything.
I think about switching back to Fiancee 7.0, but I can't uninstall Wife 1.0.
Add to that that I can't judge what consequences this would have to Baby 1.0, which I came to like.
Can you help me?
A discouraged user.
Answer helpdesk:
Dear user,
Your complaint is no stranger amongst our users, and is mostly because a perception error.
Many users upgrade Fiancee x.0 into Wife 1.0 with the wrong idea that Wife 1.0 is just a recreation and utility application. Wife 1.0 is, on the other hand, a complete OS - created to manage and control all of your other programs. It's basically impossible to uninstall Wife 1.0 and to downgrade to Fiancee 7.0. Fiancee 7.0 would then have the same features as Wife 1.0, which can't be the purpose.
The same thing happens to MotherInLaw x.0. These older generation applications are based on Wife 1.0 and often come with compatibility issues. They are only resistant against modern viruses, will soon be affected and eventually disappear.
Some users try to format their hard disk and installing FianceePlus of Wife 2.0, but this can have huge complications! (see user manuel - Alimentation and Co-Parentship).
Important: in case you install Fiancee 8.0, don't immediatly upgrade to Wife 2.0 because the compatibility problems will be far greater and more complex than they were with Wife 1.0.
Wife 3.0 and Wife 4.0 are for the more experienced and specialized users. They are very expensive and not recommendable to normal users.
If none of these systems seem to work for you, we recommend Bachelor 1.0 or ThreeSome 5.3. But before this, we strongly insist to keep using Wife 1.0, although very carefully.
I've successfully used Wife 1.0 for years and from my experience I can advise you to read the FAQ and Common Made Mistakes section.
Wife 1.0 is very sensitive and immediatly switches to safe mode when errors appear.
This means that you have to be very cautious when running the program, given the fact that you are the source of every error, no matter which one.
The solution lies within C:SORRY.EXE, everytime an irregularity appears.
Try to avoid the use of ESC or Backspace, because then C:SORRY.EXE/FLOWERS/ALL will have to be used. And you'd want to avoid this as much as possible.
Wife 1.0 is a very interesting application, but it can lead to great expenses when used incorrectly.
My advise is to purchase the expansion packs Flowers 5.0, Jewels 2.3 or WeekendToSeaside 3.2.
YesDear 14.7 and YoureRightHoney 8.0 are also very popular among other users, and downloadable from the Internet.
Never install SecretaryInMiniSkirt 3.3, Girlfriend 1.1 or TonightMyFriendsComeOver 4.6!!
These applications don't function in the Wife 1.0-environment and can cause unrepairable damage to your system!
To successfully run C:DrinkOnSaturday, you first need to execture some other commands like C:DIAMONDNECKLACE.EXE or C:GETHERDRUNK.EXE.
Good luck!
The helpdesk.
0
Comments
There is also another program, but that one is VERY illegal! So I don't even name it here.
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to creatively paraphrase Chris Rock...
If you make 20 Million and she wants 10 no big deal, You're not starving.
BUT if you make 30 thousand and she wants half then Hitman 1.0 might be an option
"I aint moving back with my momma 'cause you're not in love"
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